02 The smoke clears
05 The first loss
He was never asked to struggle with a problem long enough to solve it.7
Critical-analytical reasoning
06 The second loss
A choice no one has practised is a choice no one can bear.8
Courage to choose and own the consequence
07 The third loss
When everyone has a private oracle, who convenes the room?9
Leadership and human connection
08 The fourth loss
What we owe to people we will never meet is learned, not inherited.10
Care and responsibility for others
09 The burden on education
Exaggerated? I hope so. But each of these capacities is learned through practice, so I believe education carries the largest share of the responsibility.11
And even when it tries, can one teacher, watching a whole room at once, help every child grow in the way that child needs?12
So many of the world's problems are queuing at the few windows able to solve them.13
I know my limits. But I don't want to only watch. I want to become one of those windows, and work alongside people far better than me.
10 What I can do now
Here is what I can do today, for the small number of students I teach: ILMI Class.
Inquiry first: children work at a problem before anyone hands them an answer.14
Two independent stations, where each child chooses a task and owns the result.15
Language for real use: they lead, ask and persuade in the language they are learning.16
Moral and character training runs through every station, rooted in Islamic values.17
Mixed ages and four stations let me teach small groups at the edge of what each child can do.18
And a voice-mode AI app helps me record each student's growth.19
11 The honest question
With the gaps in what I know, am I going to do the world good, or quietly make things worse?
That question is why I am seeking a scholarship.
The two programmes I am applying to:
- Education: Research Design & Methodology
- Educational Planning, Economics & International Development
12 Five fields
I have spread myself across five fields, and it has kept me far from real expertise.
So I am now focusing my intellectual journey on Education.
I don't count the earlier years as wasted: each field turns out to be tied to the others.
Notes and sources
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Since July 2026, fires in Kalimantan and Sumatra have sent haze into Sarawak, Peninsular Malaysia and Singapore; some Malaysian schools closed. These are press reports, not yet peer-reviewed. It is not new: one model links the 2015 haze to about 100,000 excess deaths. ↑
- detikKalimantan (2026). Asap karhutla Kalimantan sampai Malaysia-Singapura, risiko masih tinggi. detik.com.
- Liputan6 (2026). Asap karhutla masih selimuti Singapura-Malaysia, udara sangat tidak sehat. Liputan6.com.
- Koplitz, S. N., Mickley, L. J., Marlier, M. E., et al. (2016). Public health impacts of the severe haze in Equatorial Asia in September–October 2015. Environmental Research Letters, 11(9), 094023.
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Smoke from Indonesian fires is carried across maritime Southeast Asia. Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei are hit hardest; mainland neighbours such as Vietnam, less often. ↑
- UN Environment (2018). Smoke-haze: A transboundary air pollution issue in Southeast Asia (Foresight Brief No. 007). United Nations Environment Programme.
- Fang, T., Gu, Y., & Yim, S. H. L. (2024). Assessing local and transboundary fine particulate matter pollution and sectoral contributions in Southeast Asia during haze months of 2015–2019. Science of the Total Environment, 912.
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Both, but mostly ours. Most fires are set by people to clear land; drained peat and El Niño drought make them burn longer and wider. ↑
- Dennis, R. A., Mayer, J., Applegate, G., et al. (2005). Fire, people and pixels: Linking social science and remote sensing to understand underlying causes and impacts of fires in Indonesia. Human Ecology, 33(4), 465–504.
- Page, S. E., Siegert, F., Rieley, J. O., et al. (2002). The amount of carbon released from peat and forest fires in Indonesia during 1997. Nature, 420, 61–65.
- Field, R. D., van der Werf, G. R., Fanin, T., et al. (2016). Indonesian fire activity and smoke pollution in 2015 show persistent nonlinear sensitivity to El Niño-induced drought. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(33), 9204–9209.
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Without land-use reform, severe fire seasons are expected to return with future El Niño droughts. A warming climate makes fire weather more frequent in many regions. ↑
- Field, R. D., van der Werf, G. R., Fanin, T., et al. (2016). Indonesian fire activity and smoke pollution in 2015 show persistent nonlinear sensitivity to El Niño-induced drought. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(33), 9204–9209.
- IPCC (2023). Climate Change 2023: Synthesis Report. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.
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Using a tool to save mental effort is called cognitive offloading. In one field experiment, students with unrestricted AI did better in practice but worse on the exam. A survey links heavy AI use with weaker critical thinking, though only as a correlation. ↑
- Risko, E. F., & Gilbert, S. J. (2016). Cognitive offloading. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 20(9), 676–688.
- Bastani, H., Bastani, O., Sungu, A., Ge, H., Kabakcı, Ö., & Mariman, R. (2025). Generative AI without guardrails can harm learning: Evidence from high school mathematics. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 122(26), e2422633122.
- Gerlich, M. (2025). AI tools in society: Impacts on cognitive offloading and the future of critical thinking. Societies, 15(1), 6.
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Effort that slows learning down, such as recalling instead of rereading, often makes it last. Removing every difficulty can remove the learning with it. ↑
- Bjork, E. L., & Bjork, R. A. (2011). Making things hard on yourself, but in a good way: Creating desirable difficulties to enhance learning. In M. A. Gernsbacher et al. (Eds.), Psychology and the real world (pp. 56–64). Worth Publishers.
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In productive-failure studies, students who wrestled with a problem before instruction later understood it more deeply. Critical thinking can be taught, especially through dialogue and real problems. ↑
- Kapur, M. (2008). Productive failure. Cognition and Instruction, 26(3), 379–424.
- Abrami, P. C., Bernard, R. M., Borokhovski, E., Waddington, D. I., Wade, C. A., & Persson, T. (2015). Strategies for teaching students to think critically: A meta-analysis. Review of Educational Research, 85(2), 275–314.
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Self-regulation grows through practice: setting goals, choosing strategies, judging the result. People who lean on automated advice tend to check it less, and miss its errors. ↑
- Zimmerman, B. J. (2002). Becoming a self-regulated learner: An overview. Theory Into Practice, 41(2), 64–70.
- Parasuraman, R., & Manzey, D. H. (2010). Complacency and bias in human use of automation: An attentional integration. Human Factors, 52(3), 381–410.
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Turkle argues that face-to-face conversation, where empathy is learned, erodes when screens stand in for it. Cooperative-learning research treats leadership and communication as skills to be taught. ↑
- Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming conversation: The power of talk in a digital age. Penguin Press.
- Johnson, D. W., & Johnson, R. T. (2009). An educational psychology success story: Social interdependence theory and cooperative learning. Educational Researcher, 38(5), 365–379.
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Noddings describes caring as cultivated through modelling, dialogue, practice and confirmation. A meta-analysis of 213 school programmes found that social and emotional skills can be taught. ↑
- Noddings, N. (2005). The challenge to care in schools: An alternative approach to education (2nd ed.). Teachers College Press.
- Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., Dymnicki, A. B., Taylor, R. D., & Schellinger, K. B. (2011). The impact of enhancing students' social and emotional learning: A meta-analysis of school-based universal interventions. Child Development, 82(1), 405–432.
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Meta-analyses show that critical thinking and social-emotional skills respond to teaching. That education carries the largest share is my judgement, not a finding. ↑
- Abrami, P. C., Bernard, R. M., Borokhovski, E., Waddington, D. I., Wade, C. A., & Persson, T. (2015). Strategies for teaching students to think critically: A meta-analysis. Review of Educational Research, 85(2), 275–314.
- Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., Dymnicki, A. B., Taylor, R. D., & Schellinger, K. B. (2011). The impact of enhancing students' social and emotional learning: A meta-analysis of school-based universal interventions. Child Development, 82(1), 405–432.
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Bloom reported tutored students far ahead of students taught as a class; later reviews find a smaller but real gap. Class size shapes how much individual attention each child gets. ↑
- Bloom, B. S. (1984). The 2 sigma problem: The search for methods of group instruction as effective as one-to-one tutoring. Educational Researcher, 13(6), 4–16.
- VanLehn, K. (2011). The relative effectiveness of human tutoring, intelligent tutoring systems, and other tutoring systems. Educational Psychologist, 46(4), 197–221.
- Blatchford, P., & Russell, A. (2020). Rethinking class size: The complex story of impact on teaching and learning. UCL Press.
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One concrete queue: UNESCO estimates that the world needs 44 million more primary and secondary teachers by 2030. ↑
- UNESCO & International Task Force on Teachers for Education 2030 (2024). Global report on teachers: Addressing teacher shortages and transforming the profession. UNESCO.
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Inquiry learning works when it is scaffolded, not left unguided. Productive-failure research suggests that struggling before instruction deepens understanding. ↑
- Hmelo-Silver, C. E., Duncan, R. G., & Chinn, C. A. (2007). Scaffolding and achievement in problem-based and inquiry learning: A response to Kirschner, Sweller, and Clark (2006). Educational Psychologist, 42(2), 99–107.
- Kapur, M. (2008). Productive failure. Cognition and Instruction, 26(3), 379–424.
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Self-determination theory links a sense of autonomy with motivation and well-being. A meta-analysis found that giving learners real choices tends to raise intrinsic motivation. ↑
- Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.
- Patall, E. A., Cooper, H., & Robinson, J. C. (2008). The effects of choice on intrinsic motivation and related outcomes: A meta-analysis of research findings. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 270–300.
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Learners develop a language by producing it for real purposes, not only by receiving it. Task-based and cooperative teaching build lessons around such purposes and roles. ↑
- Swain, M. (1985). Communicative competence: Some roles of comprehensible input and comprehensible output in its development. In S. Gass & C. Madden (Eds.), Input in second language acquisition (pp. 235–253). Newbury House.
- Ellis, R. (2003). Task-based language learning and teaching. Oxford University Press.
- Johnson, D. W., & Johnson, R. T. (2009). An educational psychology success story: Social interdependence theory and cooperative learning. Educational Researcher, 38(5), 365–379.
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In al-Attas's account, education in Islam is ta'dib: instilling adab, right conduct, not knowledge alone. School programmes show that such conduct can be practised and improved. ↑
- al-Attas, S. M. N. (1980). The concept of education in Islam. Muslim Youth Movement of Malaysia (ABIM).
- Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., Dymnicki, A. B., Taylor, R. D., & Schellinger, K. B. (2011). The impact of enhancing students' social and emotional learning: A meta-analysis of school-based universal interventions. Child Development, 82(1), 405–432.
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Vygotsky's zone of proximal development is what a child can do with help but not yet alone. Rotating stations is one way to differentiate teaching within one room. ↑
- Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. Harvard University Press.
- Tomlinson, C. A. (2014). The differentiated classroom: Responding to the needs of all learners (2nd ed.). ASCD.
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The study that found unrestricted AI harmed learning also found that a tutor with guardrails largely avoided the harm. The app records progress; it does not do the work. ↑
- Bastani, H., Bastani, O., Sungu, A., Ge, H., Kabakcı, Ö., & Mariman, R. (2025). Generative AI without guardrails can harm learning: Evidence from high school mathematics. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 122(26), e2422633122.